3-ply Bamboo for uranus

• EXPLORE URANUS

Every Pack you buy
Plants a Tree🌳

Every order funds tree planting — restoring forests, creating jobs, and sticking two fingers up to climate change.

For more information: www.carma.earth

How to Buy Uranus

It’s stupidly simple:

1. Choose Your Pack

Pick the pack size that fits your throne. Bigger packs = better value.

2. Set Your Rhythm

Wipe weekly, monthly, or whenever your ass demands. One-time or subscription — you call the shots.

3. Delivery + Tree Planted

We ship your rolls fast (next day). You wipe, we plant a tree. Even your bog breaks are fuelling rebellion.

Choose Your Pack

18 rolls

£0.21/100 Sheets

🌳

36 rolls

£0.17/100 Sheets

🌳🌳

54 rolls

£0.15/100 Sheets

🌳🌳🌳

Subscribe & Save

££

Ships every Still getting through other rolls?

Ships inSelect a delay1 week2 weeks1 month2 months

You’ll only be charged once the rolls ship.

Buy Once

£

Checkout Uranus

document.addEventListener('click', function(e){ const sum = e.target.closest('summary.drop__summary'); if(!sum) return; const details = sum.parentElement; const group = details.parentElement.closest('.drop-group[data-accordion="single"]'); if(group && !details.open){ group.querySelectorAll('.drop[open]').forEach(d => { if(d!==details) d.removeAttribute('open'); }); } queueMicrotask(() => { const expanded = details.hasAttribute('open'); sum.setAttribute('aria-expanded', String(expanded)); }); }); // Init ARIA document.querySelectorAll('summary.drop__summary').forEach(s => { s.setAttribute('role','button'); s.setAttribute('aria-expanded', String(s.parentElement.hasAttribute('open'))); });

Supermarket Rolls Are F-ing Boring. ▶

They don’t last. They chop down trees. And let’s face it… they don't have a monkey riding a shark sipping his morning tea.

• Uranus can last up to a year → fewer runs to the shop.
• Made from bamboo → no trees harmed.
• Plants a tree every time you wipe → do good while you do your business.
• Cheaper, greener, better → eco-friendly & delivered straight to your door.
• Premium comfort without the premium price tag → best value for money, period.

Life’s too fucking short to rot in the cellblock of the ordinary.Wipe Uranus Today!

How Good Is Uranus? ▶

It's not just good. It's fucking brilliant.

• 3-Ply Armor for Your Ass. Silky, soft, and strong. No doubling sheets, no tearing, no dust. Just one wipe, done right.
• No Roll Lies. We don’t do fake “mega” tubes or sneaky downsized rolls. Ours are big, honest, and long-lasting — so you’re not swapping them out every other day.
• Eco-Friendly & Discreet. Every pack comes in fully recyclable paper packaging. The design makes your bathroom look sharp, but delivery shows up in a plain box — no awkward doorstep looks.
• The No-Clog Promise. Flush once, forget about it. No second flushes, no toilet stress, just smooth drains and peace of mind.

Why Bamboo? ▶

• Bamboo = Nature’s Butt Upgrade. Smooth, gentle, and naturally antimicrobial, hypoallergenic, and biodegradable.
• Soft and Tough. The perfect balance of silky comfort and wipe-done strength.
• Sensitive-Skin Friendly. Less residue, less irritation, less mess — just clean comfort.
• The Fastest-Growing Rebellion. Bamboo shoots up to 1 meter a day and is harvestable in 3–5 years (trees take 20–50). Smaller footprint, bigger impact, and it regrows on its own.

The Best Value-For-Money On The Bloody Market! Click Here to see How!

×

See how Uranus beats every top brand.

Save up to ~63% compared to top brands^*.

---

18 Rolls36 Rolls54 Rolls

---

ⓘ How we calculate Cost-per-Wipe & Usable Wipes

Let:

• R = rolls per pack
• S = sheets per roll
• P = price per pack
• i = standard wipe units needed per bathroom visit (adjusted for ply strength; 2-ply ≈ 1.5× more)
• L, W = sheet dimensions (cm)
• A₀ = 100 cm² (area of a 10×10 cm sheet)
• A_sheet = L × W

Note: For calculations we assume i = 1.0 for strong 3-ply papers and i = 1.5 for weaker 2-ply papers (to reflect extra folds needed and more regular tearing).

Pack Wipe Units (standardised): R × S × Asheet / A₀

Usable Wipes (visits): (R × S × Asheet / A₀) ÷ i

Cost-per-Wipe: P ÷ Usable Wipes

Why wipes can be higher than sheets:
We compare brands fairly by standardising to a 10×10 cm wipe unit. Uranus sheets are 10×12 cm, so each Uranus sheet equals 1.2 standard wipe units.
That’s why a pack can deliver more standardised wipes than its raw sheet count.

Strength matters:
We adjust for real-world use. 2-ply tends to rip or need extra folds, so it typically needs ~1.5× more wipe units per visit than strong 3-ply. This multiplier is baked into i.

Usable wipes (what you actually get):
Usable Wipes = (R × S × (L × W) / 100) ÷ i
This tells you how many effective, standardised wipes a pack delivers.

Cost-per-wipe (what you pay per visit):
Cost-per-Wipe = P ÷ Usable Wipes
Cheaper baskets can still cost more per wipe if they’re smaller sheets or weaker ply — meaning you buy more often over time.

^* How we calculate “% cheaper”:54-pack example — Uranus 15p per 100 standardised wipes vs category benchmark ≈41p.
Formula: (Benchmark − Uranus) ÷ Benchmark → (41 − 15) ÷ 41 ~ 63% cheaper.

Uranus money-back guarantee🛡️

Try Uranus, if it’s not for you, we’ll give you a free replacement pack or your money back.
Either way, we’ll still plant the tree.

• Terms & Conditions Apply

Stop Wiping With Chains. Wipe Uranus.

Your daily routine fuels a global rebellion against soul-destroying brands and deforestation.

Proud to be planting trees with Carma Earth

Questions & Answers

The Uranus App: The Digital Temple of Logs

First roll in the universe with its own app!

document.addEventListener('click', function(e){ const sum = e.target.closest('summary.drop__summary'); if(!sum) return; const details = sum.parentElement; const group = details.parentElement.closest('.drop-group[data-accordion="single"]'); if(group && !details.open){ group.querySelectorAll('.drop[open]').forEach(d => { if(d!==details) d.removeAttribute('open'); }); } queueMicrotask(() => { const expanded = details.hasAttribute('open'); sum.setAttribute('aria-expanded', String(expanded)); }); }); // Init ARIA document.querySelectorAll('summary.drop__summary').forEach(s => { s.setAttribute('role','button'); s.setAttribute('aria-expanded', String(s.parentElement.hasAttribute('open'))); });

More Details ▶

• Track your personal forest—every pack plants a tree!
• Name your trees and and monitor their growth.
• Earn "Wipe Points™" for discounts, rewards, freebies (and extra perks) that you can claim to on any future products.
• Vote on new roll designs and embossments.
• Confess anonymously and laugh at bathroom tales with our 24-hour confession logs.
• Health monitoring and support: Free access to professionals, health tracking, and discreet peace of mind

App Currently Under Enhancement. Will be back soon!

Terms & ConditionsEffective date: 20th August 20251. Introduction1.1. These Terms & Conditions (“Terms”) govern all Orders placed with Uranus (“we”, “us”, “our”) for products offered via wipeuranus.com or any authorised channel operated by us.
1.2. These Terms apply to all sales, deliveries, and guarantees, including but not limited to the Uranus Satisfaction Guarantee.
1.3. These Terms are in addition to your statutory rights under the Consumer Rights Act 2015, Consumer Contracts Regulations 2013, and other applicable law (“Statutory Rights”). If there is any conflict, Statutory Rights prevail.2. DefinitionsCustomer: the end consumer purchasing Products for personal (non-business) use.Order: a purchase of Products placed with us.Products: Uranus toilet paper and related items.Delivery Date: the date Products are recorded as delivered.Working Day: any day other than Saturday, Sunday, or public holiday in England.3. Orders & Payment3.1. All Orders are subject to acceptance and availability.
3.2. Payment must be received in full before dispatch. Prices include VAT where applicable.
3.3. We reserve the right to refuse or cancel Orders where payment is unauthorised, fraudulent, or where pricing/stock errors occur.4. Delivery & Risk4.1. Delivery times are estimates only. While we aim to dispatch promptly, delays may occur due to supply chain issues, courier disruption, or force majeure events.
4.2. Risk of loss or damage passes to you once Products are delivered to the address provided.
4.3. We are not liable for delays outside our control but will take reasonable steps to minimise impact.5. Returns, Cancellations & Hygiene5.1. You may cancel most Orders within 14 days of delivery under consumer law, except for hygiene-sensitive Products (e.g. opened/unsealed toilet paper).
5.2. Faulty or damaged Products must be reported within 48 hours of delivery with supporting evidence.
5.3. Returns (if accepted) must be authorised and sent back within 14 days at your cost, unless Products are faulty.6. Uranus Satisfaction Guarantee6.1. In addition to Statutory Rights, we offer the Uranus Satisfaction Guarantee: if you are not satisfied, you may request one replacement pack or a refund of the purchase price (excluding expedited shipping).
6.2. Eligibility is limited to one claim per household/Customer account. Full details are set out in Annex A (Guarantee Terms).7. Exclusions & Limitations7.1. We are not responsible for:Normal wear/tear or misuse.Issues caused by third-party services (e.g. couriers).Delays outside our reasonable control.Indirect, incidental, or consequential loss (e.g. loss of enjoyment, loss of income).
7.2. Our liability is limited to the purchase price of the affected Products, except where liability cannot be excluded by law (e.g. for death/personal injury due to negligence or fraud).8. Promotions & Discounts8.1. Promotional codes must be valid at time of purchase and cannot be applied retrospectively.
8.2. We may withdraw or amend promotions at any time.9. Subscriptions9.1. If you subscribe, you authorise us to take recurring payments until cancellation.
9.2. Subscriptions can be paused or cancelled at any time before the next billing date.10. Intellectual PropertyAll brand names, logos, product designs, text, and media remain the intellectual property of Uranus Ltd. Use without written consent is prohibited.11. Data ProtectionWe collect and process personal data in line with our Privacy Policy. By placing an Order, you consent to this processing.12. Force MajeureWe are not liable for any failure or delay caused by events outside our reasonable control (including natural disasters, strikes, transport disruption, pandemics, or government action).13. Changes to TermsWe may amend these Terms at any time. Updated Terms apply prospectively and will not affect Orders already placed.14. Governing Law & JurisdictionThese Terms are governed by English law. Any disputes will be subject to the exclusive jurisdiction of the courts of England and Wales.Annex A — Uranus Satisfaction Guarantee
1. Introduction
1.1. These Terms & Conditions (“Guarantee Terms”) govern the voluntary Uranus Satisfaction Guarantee offered by Uranus Ltd (“we”, “us”, “our”).
1.2. This guarantee is in addition to and does not affect your statutory rights under the Consumer Rights Act 2015, the Consumer Contracts (Information, Cancellation and Additional Charges) Regulations 2013, and other applicable consumer law (“Statutory Rights”).
1.3. If there is any conflict between these Guarantee Terms and your Statutory Rights, your Statutory Rights prevail.2. Definitions
Customer: the end consumer who purchases the Products for personal (non-business) use.
Order: a purchase of Products placed directly with us via wipeuranus.com or another authorised sales channel operated by us.
Products: our toilet paper and directly related items covered by this guarantee (excluding third-party goods).
Delivery Date: the date the Products are first recorded as delivered to the delivery address.
Working Day: a day other than a Saturday, Sunday or public holiday in England.3. Scope of the Guarantee
3.1. If you are not satisfied with the Products, you may request either:
(a) one replacement pack of equivalent or nearest-equivalent Product; or
(b) a refund of the Purchase Price actually paid (excluding expedited shipping),
subject to these Guarantee Terms.3.2. Only one remedy will be provided per qualifying claim.
3.3. Where marketed that “we’ll still plant the tree,” we will do so in accordance with Clause 12.4. Eligibility
4.1. The guarantee applies to Orders:
(a) placed directly with us;
(b) delivered within the United Kingdom;
(c) submitted by a Customer who is a first-time purchaser (or at our discretion, the first delivery in a subscription).4.2. Limit: one approved claim per household and per Customer account.
4.3. Consumers only — excludes business, bulk, wholesale, or commercial Orders.5. Claim Window & Notice
5.1. Notify us within 30 calendar days of the Delivery Date.
5.2. Transit damage, shortages, or visible defects must be reported within 48 hours of Delivery Date with photos.6. How to Claim
Email [email protected] with:
• Order number + Delivery Date
• Full name + postcode
• Issue description + preferred remedy
• Supporting evidence if requestedWe may require return of unopened packs, or written confirmation of disposal. Failure to provide information may result in rejection.7. Returns, Hygiene & Inspection
7.1. For hygiene reasons, opened/unsealed toilet paper cannot be returned unless faulty.
7.2. Returns (if required) within 14 days of our authorisation.
7.3. We may inspect or require evidence before approving a remedy.8. Remedies
8.1. Refunds: issued to original payment method within 14 days of approval.
8.2. Replacements: dispatched within a reasonable time at our cost. If unavailable, we may supply nearest-equivalent.
8.3. We are not responsible for delays caused by incomplete info or external events.9. Exclusions
No cover for: normal wear/tear; misuse; unauthorised sellers; commercial Orders; out-of-window claims; duplicate/abusive claims; dissatisfaction with external services.10. Fraud & Abuse
We may reject claims where fraud, misrepresentation, or abuse is suspected. Additional verification may be required.11. Price & Delivery Charges
Refunds limited to Purchase Price. Standard delivery refunded if full Order refunded. Expedited shipping not refunded unless required by law. Taxes/customs not refunded where non-recoverable.12. Tree Planting
We instruct a reforestation partner to plant a tree per Order. Symbolic only, no property rights. Survival not guaranteed. Independent of remedy.13. Data Protection
We handle data per our Privacy Policy. Claim info may be used for fraud prevention and quality control.14. Statutory Rights
Your Statutory Rights remain unaffected. Cancellation under consumer law: 14 days (hygiene exception applies). Faulty goods covered under Consumer Rights Act 2015.15. Limitation of Liability
Liability limited to Purchase Price. We do not exclude liability for death/personal injury caused by negligence, fraud, or non-excludable law. No liability for indirect/consequential loss. Customers must mitigate losses.16. Force Majeure
We are not responsible for failures/delays due to events outside our reasonable control.17. Changes
We may modify/suspend/withdraw this guarantee prospectively. Changes do not affect prior Orders.18. Assignment & Third-Party Rights
18.1. You may not assign rights without our consent.
18.2. No third-party rights under Contracts (Rights of Third Parties) Act 1999.19. Severability & No Waiver
Invalid provisions do not affect remainder. Failure to enforce rights is not a waiver.20. Governing Law & Jurisdiction
English law applies. Courts of England and Wales have exclusive jurisdiction.21. Contact
Email queries or claims to: [email protected]